BETTER? Compared to What?

I challenge you to stop comparing yourself to others.  

Oh, come on, we’ve all done it. But have we realised how damaging it can be?   

When we compare ourselves to another, be it their health, wealth, abilities or talent, whatever it might be, what we are actually doing is diminishing and negating what exists within us right now. There’s a quote that says, “When you compare yourself to others, you upset God’s curriculum” Simply translated, when you compare yourself to others you upset your natural course and divine plan of success and happiness for yourself.  

A few years ago, an intuitive development client said to me (and she’s not the last client to say this type of thing to me, but this particular girl sticks out in my mind), “Maria, I met this woman and she was telling me that could see my aura and she was describing it to me and she was amazing. I could never do that.”

Hummm, there are a couple of things amiss with that statement.

First of all, her limiting belief that she may or may not be able to do something in the future, and investing in that belief would certainly diminish her progress. Second of all, she was placing this other on a pedestal if you like, of what she saw as an accomplishment, casting that person in a role of being superior or more evolved. Thirdly, there is a big assumption that this ability to see auras is part of defining her own path, purpose or even her intuitive modality.

So, I said to this girl, “Well, who’s to say that you can’t, and who’s to say that you would want to? Who’s to say that’s something to strive for? What’s true for you?” My suggestion to this client, as it has been for many others since then, and its something that I always keep in mind myself when I hear about something that I am inspired by, is that instead of saying, “How brilliant that person is to be able to… and I’m only …,” or “Wow, I’ve got so far to go” Instead I say, “That’s really wonderful and it’s available to me too.” That’s how I approach it. How does it sit with you?

When we meet somebody that we admire in some way, maybe it’s for their ability, and we think to ourselves, “Well, you know what? One day I would like to be able to do that”, that’s a great way to begin. Take on the inspiration of what that person has done to reach their achievement knowing that it’s available to you. The next question that you can ask yourself is, “How do I go about achieving it?”

Every person who has accomplished something of greatness, whether the greatness is measured by their own internal reference or by external reference points, in every single instance, something had to begin, something had to be practiced, and something had to be committed to on a continuous basis in order to achieve the successful outcome. The question that you get to ask yourself is, “What is it that I will do on a consistent basis because I’m committed to achieving the thing that I so admire?” And remember, it doesn’t have to be anything too huge, step by step is the best way to go.

So to help you out, here are 3 steps you can take that have been successfully proven by myself and my clients over time:  

1.   From this moment on stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t try not to. Just don’t. If you find yourself doing it, just acknowledge it and move on to a more supportive frame of observation.  You’re right where you need to be right now, to do what you need to do. Nothing can be gained from comparing, except if you use it as constructive inspiring leverage to devise a success strategy and not as a stick to beat yourself with.

2.   Decide what it is that you do want to achieve. Outline it in detail and be really specific about it. When you’ve done that, ask yourself, “How am I going to go about achieving it? What is it that I need to do to get to that place of accomplishment that I desire?”

3.   The next thing you can do is find somebody who inspires you, who has accomplished what it is that you want to achieve and then model them. Modelling doesn’t mean that you take on all of their values and you become that person. You’re certainly not trying to be anybody other than who you are. Instead, it means that you can model the strategies, mindset, motivation and the determination of that person that you are inspired by.

Three easy steps to modelling someone you are inspired by are:

A.  Choose someone you are inspired by and be clear about why and how they inspire you.

B.  Find ways to access the knowledge, insight and wisdom of that person – what strategies did they implement in order to succeed, what are their beliefs and mindset, what was the difference that made the difference in succeeding for that person, what was their key to succeeding?

C.  Implement or model what you have discovered in your own life, making it your own.

Consistently doing all of this will bring you to
achieve your own version of what that success
is for you, to your own unique experience
of that achievement.  

It can often happen that we are mesmerised by what some people have achieved, but its worthwhile remembering that they all started somewhere. Often we hear about a Hollywood actor who has become hugely successful and famous sharing their story of humble beginnings, ‘Life wasn’t easy for me, I had to struggle. This didn’t come easy. I wasn’t an overnight success. Do you know how many tables I waited and halls that I mopped and all of the paper errands that I did?’  When we see these people on the silver screen or in magazines we don’t think about that, we don’t even think about them doing regular things like buying groceries, taking out the garbage or picking up after their dog. They need to do all the regular things in life (maybe sometimes they pay people to do these things for them but you get the picture) and yet they remained committed to their cause.

There is a Zen Proverb that sums it up beautifully

“Before enlightenment;
chop wood, carry water.
After enlightenment;
chop wood, carry water.”  

[I have my own version of this, "Before enlightenment scoop dog poop, after enlightenment scoop dog poop"!! Ahhh, to be so spiritual ]

So, before you rush into making comparisons about somebody else, where they are at and where you are at and the distance between you, consider that the only real distance between you and them is an illusion.

There is no real distance. Everything that’s available for one is available for another, and that includes having a life in balance, inner peace, living your divine purpose, being a skilled six sensory intuitive and picking up after your dog.